Sunday, May 4, 2013

It all started two days ago...
Maggie was breathing differently.  I can't quite describe how or why I knew that it was "different" ~ other than to say ~ it's like when your car doesn't run right.  You are the owner and know how your car normally sounds so when it sounds different, you know there's an issue.

I kept an eye on her on Friday evening. 

On Saturday, she kept to herself and stayed in the laundry room while I went out & about with Trudy.  Later in the day, Maggie let me rub her belly.  Normally this a death wish.  Remember: she's a cat.  Rubbing her belly is equivalent to giving someone a swirly.  You aren't going to be friends after either action.  I call it "cause & effect" ~ Rub the belly = prepare to die.

Sunday while Ging and I were at church and then out to lunch at Applebee's with the Farrell clan, Maggie managed to move from the laundry room to my bed.  We came home from church and found her resting on top of my fleece blanket.  Her breathing was much more labored.

Several phone calls later, we got in touch with the Emergency Animal Hospital off of Morsay Drive.  (Should you have a pet emergency and you live in Rockford....GO THERE!!!!  Their staff was compassionate and kind.)

They took Maggie back for some oxygen and had the vet check her out.  They reported she had fluid around her lungs which could be because of cancer, a rupture in her lymphatic system, heart failure and a third thing which I can't remember.  The fluid could be drained and studied....but it would be a reoccurring situation.  Every two to three weeks, we would be back. 

As heartbreaking as my decision was...I knew she had to be let go.  Maggie hates the car.  When I say "hates" I mean she loathes, despises, etc.  On the way to the vet, her motor ran the entire trip.  Ging chauffer-ed us and I rode in the backseat holding my beloved pet wrapped up in my sage green blanket.  (I am laughing about the "my" part because that blanket has always been Mags.  Never was it mine.)  I think Maggie knew this was IT...and she was purring to let me know that she was fully aware that because I loved her and calls her my own that she had truly lived the dream.  She knew she was spoiled.  She knew that goodbyes stink. 

With a broken heart, I said goodbye to my sweet pet.  She has been with me through several heartache...several joyous moments...  It's not the good vs. the bad...it's that she was there.

It's my fist morning without her....and I will be honest (because if you can't be honest on your own blog, well..that's just a cryin' shame as my suite mate from college would say).  I miss her. I miss that she would wake-me-up 4 minutes before my alarm would go off.  I miss her warm, chinchilla-like hair.  (The vet clinic asked, "Does she have long hair or short hair?" And Ginger said, "She's has chinchilla fur."

I know tomorrow will be easier...and every day the pain will lessen...  It just is rough today.