I'm regretfully declining lunch...

Dear ______,
I regret to inform you that I won't be able to attend the lunch presentation today.  In my quest to get out the door to vote this morning (and then getting trapped behind someone who wanted to vote for BOTH Donald and Hillary thus rendering her ballot "Spoiled" and the volunteers trying to determine what to do with the compromised ballot and waiting for my turn)...and then realizing it was raining and I forgot my umbrella thus causing me to return to my apartment to grab said rain protection equipment and then stopping at Starbucks because I can't believe today is Election day and the 2 clowns running are on our ballot - and the strongest beverage I consume is a cafe mocha, I did not infact bring a lunch today. 

I do not trust the food that is being brought in. 

I do not want to be sick because I am already super stressed out with something that went out to bid today and we (I) have to put together 301 page spec books and guess who many I have assembled?  ZERO!  Zero because our consultants are total crackheads.  {I do not know if they actually do drugs but their submitted document is enough to bring me to tears.}

*Sigh*

I'm sorry I won't be there today.  I'm going to have sushi and get away from this 301 page document.

I hope ___________ will forgive me.
Me