"There are worse things than being single" Day

In honor of all the fabulous singles in this world...Sara and I would like to introduce our fun, new holiday...(drum roll, please)..."There are worse things than being single" day.  On this day, married individuals must commit to working those extra hours that are usually assumed and/or given to single people...because clearly, married people must rush home to be with their families.  Why would a single person want to leave after putting in an 8 hour work day?  I mean really...single people have nothing to get home too, right?  

Second:  Married individuals must commit to cleaning the homes of single people...and paying their utility bills...and getting groceries and running various other errands.  Don't let the fact that you've put in an extra long day for said single person cause you to slow down.  Get a move on!  Notice when you are writing out their utility bill that it is right around the same amount as yours...that single person doesn't need heat!  Go ahead -- crank down their thermostat!  Turn the furnace off...afterall, they are single.  And please dust the ceiling fan blades! 

Lastly, the married individual must sponsor the single person to a night out, including dinner, a movie, and a stop at the local coffee establishment. 

While all of this is taking place, single people of the world shall unite and come to terms with the fact that there are truly worse things than being married.  Here are a few...

...being married to the wrong person.
...being in a relationship with someone who is self-absorbed.
...being married to a non-coffee drinker.  (Just seein' if you are really paying attention... :))
...being lost in the desert.
...looking back on your life with regrets.