Confessions of the Girl with Curly Hair: What each heartbreak has taught me...

#1 – No one is never not THAT available to come to the phone.

#2 – Sometimes you just get blind-sided with the truth…and an invitation to a wedding that you politely must decline out of fear that when the pastor says, “Does anyone have issue with this marriage?” you will stand up and begin a 12-point alliterated list of why this ceremony should NOT be happening.

#3 - #6 – I cannot change someone…only the Lord is capable of this.

#7 – After waiting for years to actually hope against hope, this one taught me that on paper everything seems to line-up but real life is NOT “on paper.”

#8 – I will no longer assume a thing.  You know that whole “Actions speak louder than words”?  Well, IN-ACTION speaks louder than words…but I just wasn’t listening to what the IN-ACTION was saying and/or not saying.

I used to apologize for...

...for being sentimental and honest.

Not anymore.

What if my kind words give grace...and I withhold them out of fear...all the while fighting and ignoring the Holy Spirit.

No, I don't want to be that scared girl who doesn't say, "I find ___________ (fill in the blank) endearing."  Or when somone says something charming, I want to thank them for having the courage to say that very thing.

#turning40mademebrave

Alone

Isn't it funny how you can walk into a room full of people and feel so alone?  First you casually glance around, hoping to catch someone's eye...hoping and waiting that they will call out, "Come and talk to me" and instead you find yourself standing there wishing you could disappear.

Secondly - after sitting down, you give yourself a pep-talk that goes something like this:  "Chin up, buttercup!  You are strong.  You are the apple of the Lord's eye.  You are not alone."  So on and so forth...

And yet, you are there.  Plopped down in the front row.  Alone.  Always, always alone.

Don't get me wrong - I am fully aware that the Lord is with me.  I found myself praying, "Please send someone to sit by me."  How's that for honest and heartfelt?  You are, after all, reading MY blog.  Would you like to know that sometimes the single girl needs a hug and reassuring words.  We do. And I have not yet found that on a button or t-shirt. 

He sent me DeDe.  She asked if she could join me in the front row.  Her presence was such a blessing.