A teal covered library book.

I love the color teal.
On my computer desk/table at home (yes, I, Angela Good, bought a computer desk/table and have actually got my computer setup and working - minus the speakers because I can't seem to figure out how to make them work.  Bryan, they are plugged in.)...where was I?  Oh yes, on my computer desk/table, I have a teal picture frame with a photo of Bryan and me. 

My double papasan has a teal cushion.

Teal accents are sprinkled around my craftroom. 

My kitchen is pretty much teal and red.

My coffee station is a chalk painted teal dresser.

I love teal.

A couple weeks ago while perusing the nonfiction section at the library, I stumbled upon a teal book with an intriguing title, "Party of One."  The "a" in party is a cute little, black dress.  The cover charmed me so much that I read the back and decided to give Joy Beth Smith my undivided attention when I checked out her book.

Can I just WOW!  I mean W-O-O-O-O-W!  She addresses so many intricate details about being a single Christian adult.  She debunks lame and well-intended dating advice.  She addresses so many facets of single life.  Facets that the church is neglecting. 

When I got to page 184, I said to myself, "Angie Good, you need to put this on your blog" soooo here goes....

Joy Beth writes:
"My life, my significance, doesn't begin at the altar, and I wish I felt like the church acknowledged this truth.  Instead the church feels centered around marriage.  The Christian market is saturated with marriage books, marriage workbooks, marriage workshops, marriage conferences, marriage articles, marriage sermon series, marriage seminars, and marriage devotionals.

Some may respond by saying this market is comparable to the number of married people who regularly attend church.  But it might be a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If your ministry is only ministering to married people because the majority of those who attend are married, you will never grow in the number of singles you attract (nor will you grow in empathy toward the singles in your church).  A church that waits to ministers to singles until there's a large percentage will never have to adjust their heavy emphasis on marriage; singles will leave long before then. 

But still churches and conferences and books insist that marriage is the norm, that it is the desired, inevitable end, so it only makes sense to utilize your singleness as a road to make you better in marriage.  Instead of helping all people, much less singles, grow into Christlikeness and learn to love and know Christ more, we teach how to become better wives and mothers and husbands and fathers.

For a long time, I took this advice.  I started trying to cook more, ordering those fancy boxes of food that have step-by-step directions and ingredients included.  On my first go, I burned butter so badly I had to throw away the pan.  By the end of the third box, I was microwaving most of the ingredients in a single bowl and eating while standing of the sink.  Wife fail...

You see, I tried to be a better wife for years, and when that comes I'm going to be awesome.  But I've kind of sucked at a lot of other stuff because I put so much effort into the hope of something that may never come to fruition. 

" ' That's such a small view of what the Christian life is,' Jenny says, referencing this idea that singleness is meant to prepare you for marriage.  'It's telling you that your ultimate goal is to be a good wife and mother one day, but there's so much more to being a Christian woman and advancing the kingdom of God and being a part of the church.  You shouldn't be growing in those skills to be a wife; you should be growing in them so you can serve the Lord.  This lie is telling you that your strengths and skills are limited to your family, and they're not.' "

I could type the remainder of this chapter. 

I love Joy Beth's insight and fabulous wit.  I would love nothing more to meet up with her in the Windy City for a cup of coffee. 

Church leadership (from Pastor to Deacons/Elders to Sunday school teachers to youth ministry workers) should read this book.  I, also, think this book would be good for married people to read in order to get solid insight to their single friend's minds/hearts. 

I hope Joy Beth writes another book!!!

Excellent quote

In her book "Party of One," Joy Beth Smith writes:

"But the truth is that many of us do have defects and flaws. We have unflattering clothes and annoying habits but so do those sweet couples who somehow ended up married.  Part of reworking the narrative comes in refusing to believe that a person is at fault for her own singleness.  This is one of the underlying assumptions in the flawed thinking we currently accept without question.  Even as single people we've digested this and believe It to be true."  ~ page 62

Contentment

While catching-up with two dear friends on Friday evening, one of them was asking about any prospects at my new church and if I had considered online dating.  I smiled and said, "No and I'm ok with it."

She paused and then sweetly said, 

"Contentment looks 

good on you, Angie."

Benefits and drawbacks

Benefits to being fabulously single...
1. Waffles for breakfast, lunch, and supper
2. Copious amounts of coffee without a single word of judgment.  (Celia only condescendingly stares.)
3. Buying 2 red sweaters and not having to explain why I bought two similar sweaters.  Note:  They are not identical.
4. I can watch White Christmas in August.

Drawbacks:
1. I have to kill bugs.
2. Being the grocery-getter week after work.
3. No expendable income to afford me a chauffeur.
4. No one asks about my day.  Celia only "cares" until her bowl is filled.

"If I were to date me..."

My Saturday consisted of my typical Saturday errands...grocery shopping, doing laundry, tidying-up my apartment...

I rearranged some stuff on my countertop island where my coffeemaker sits.  I placed my coffee bean grinder and my jars of beans on a repurposed chevron serving tray which was a sweet gift from Gloria.

The tray had some extra room so on one of my errand stops - Meijers - I bought a small springy bouquet of flowers.  Why?  Because if I were dating me, I would bring me flowers and an iced chai.

Because I've said, "yes" to way too many things....

I have not blogged in quite some time.  Sorry about that.  I really do feel bad.  I never even finished my February Blog Project.  Something happened around the 24th and I just sort of gave up on the remainder of the month...and it's not that I could not think of 4 more days worth of single-thankfulness because my cup runneth over...not my coffee cup.  Should my coffee cup run over...well, that would be a crying shame.

I'm going to conclude that project by saying - even though I'm thankful for the 24 things that I have shared...it's also really hard being single.  It's hard when...

1. well-meaning people say things like, "Why are you still single?"  I choose to not retort with, "Why aren't you kind?"

2. I'm sick and I don't have anyone to run to Walgreens for me.  Who wants to get dressed and run to Walgreens when they are sick?  Walgreens is at the corner of Happy and Healthy and let's be honest - Walgreens is a party and trips to said store should be celebrated accordingly.  

3. it's winter and I really do not want to bundle-up and go outside to get groceries (and I heart grocery shopping).  

4. you get the wedding invite that is elegantly addressed to "Miss Angie Good and guest."  There's no guest.  I would gladly bring my cat but that kind of behavior is frowned upon in most social circles.  Plus who wants to be the girl that gets mentioned in a wedding etiquette book, "Beware of single people who want to bring their pets."  I don't want to be that girl.

Being single is hard.  Being married is hard.  Raising kids is hard.

How about we vow to give each other grace.....

Give me grace when I have to decline fun plans because my calendar is cram-packed.  And then married peeps, don't be shocked that a *gasp* single person can have an over-flowing calendar.

My February Blog Project ~ February 21st ~ Being there.

Being single means that I can be available to be there for my friends {and family}.  Tonight my dear friend needed me to be there to encourage and comfort her 2 sons while she & her hubby sat with their 5-year old at the E.R. waiting for stitches.

An amazing God moment in this is that I typically shut off my cellphone around 9:30 each night.  Not on the 21st.  On the 21st, I was binge-reading the third and sadly final book of Lynn Austin's Restoration Chronicles.  Nehemiah was rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem.

When my cellphone rang, I thought for sure it was going to be a gab-fest.  Instead I was greeted with a slightly frantic momma who needed me to change out of my jammies and put on my Super Angie superhero getup { Read:  Jeans and a hoodie. } and come stay with her 2 eldest boys.

It's funny because I remember changing into clothes and I remember praying for the sweet 5-year old and her parents...yet, when I got in the car and started driving, I had to check and make sure I was dressed.  Not that I was NOT dressed...but was I wearing slippers?  Did I put on socks?  Did I grab my glasses?

Being there.  That's what this world needs.  That's what I need.  And tonight I got to be there.

My February Blog Project ~ February 18th through the 20th ~ Enough

There's a beautiful gift in singleness that's a gift.  It took me a while to come to this conclusion...and maybe it's been growing with each and every heartbreak I endure.  I realize that Christ is faithful.  Each time that I think I've met a great guy and each time that "great" guy has broken my heart, I've been drawn closer to Christ.  I've seen Him as enough.

For those people who - perhaps are well-meaning - ask "why are you still single?"  I can say to them because this is what my Heavenly Father has in His PERFECT plan for my life.

Like I said, it took me a while to come to this conclusion...and too be honest, I cannot remember which heart break it was...probably either 7 or 8.  I'm not sure.  

But looking back over each heartbreak and each situation that left me in tears, I found Christ to be faithful and enough.

I would much rather wait for what He has in-store than rush ahead and do the choosing.  I know me.  I know I have made some not-so-wise decisions when it's come to my decision-making so for now...for today, I'm going to trust Him.  

My Blog February Blog Project ~ February 17th ~ No TV

Because it's just me and the feline, I'm under no obligation to have a TV on.  Infact I've gone days without watching anything on the moving picture box.  

And I do want to watch "You've Got Mail" for the 400th time, I have no one to answer to except sweet Celia.  And let's be honest - with a little catnip, she could care less what is on the TV.

I suppose she'd care if it was some bird watching program.

Nah.  She'd be under the influence of catnip without a care in the world.

I love that I do not feel the NEED to have the TV on.  

My February Blog Project ~ February 15th ~ Traveling solo

As I picked-up my guest / craft room, I stumbled upon a recently ordered AAA travel guide for Connecticut, Massachusetts & Rhode Island and various maps.  A map of Boston, a Northeastern States / Provinces map, a Connecticut, Massachusetts & Rhode Island map, and lastly a map of Door County, Wisconsin.

Sooo many exciting adventures await....

Fall 2016 - Boston

Sometime in 2016 - Door County

I love traveling.  By car, by plane, or by train.  

On my trip to Ireland, I met a gal who was on the trip by herself.  Her sister was supposed to accompany her but she was unable to go at the last minute due to a healthy issue.  The solo traveler explored wherever her little heart desired.  I was impressed with her sense of adventure and embracing being on the trip by herself.

My February Blog Project ~ February 14th ~ Too fabulous to settle

Some time ago, I discovered that I do not have to settle.  What a freeing moment.  What a beautiful gift.  I do not have to settle.  Period.

In the meantime....I have every intention of getting a pedicure with the girls, going out to brunches with Lori, going on roadtrips to see amazing places like Door County and Northern Minnesota and Italy.

Being single means I do not have to sit around fretting about missed opportunities.  I've decided to embrace life...but first COFFEE!  And let's contemplate that pedicure appointment.  :)

My February Blog Project ~ February 12th ~ Cleaning

I love having the Pandora app on my phone.  

During my workday, I listen to Pandora's Traditional Country Hymns station.  

Earlier this week at work, I was humming along with an instrumental version of "What A Friend We Have in Jesus."  My co-worker (Tooth-tape-ripper) asked, "Angela, what are you humming?"  

I replied, "What a friend we have in Jesus."

Co-worker:  "What are the words to that hymn?"  She, then, began trying to recall the words...  Once upon a time, this co-worker sang in a downtown church choir so she oftentimes surprises me when she can tell me line-for-line the hymns.

We Googled the verses.  I read them outloud to her.  

And there was another little seed planted...  

Thank you, Lord, for the hymns and their doctrinal goodness.

I like to, also, listen to Pandora when I'm cleaning my apartment.  My preference is Pandora's Sound of Music station.  On this station, you will hear songs from Oklahoma and My Fair Lady and...Frozen.  Yep!  "Do you want to build a snowman?"  

My favorite song to sing while cleaning is "In Summer"...because Olaf talks about buzzing bees and dandelions and the warm sun.  

 

My February Blog Project ~ February 11th ~ sleep

Being single means...
A) I can go to bed whenever my little heart desires.  {Let it be stated for the record that my little heart typically is saying, "10 o'clock is the latest!!!"}

B) I typically get 7 to 8 hours of sleep every night.

C) I only drive Celia nuts with my love of mornings!!!  

Being single means I know me and I know that I need 2 hours in the morning before I clock in at work.  Two hours to do what???  WAKE-UP, CONSUME SOME COFFEE, LISTEN TO SOME AMAZING MUSIC THAT KEEPS ME THOUGHTS FOCUSED ON JESUS, DRINK MORE COFFEE, EAT BREAKFAST AND BASICALLY CONSOLE MYSELF WITH, "You are a grown-up now, Angie Good.  You must be responsible and go to work."  

This is a very accurate description of my morning routine.

My February Blog Project ~ February 10th ~ No Hints

Three years ago, I bought myself a teal coffeemaker for Valentine's Day.  Yes, a teal Mr. Coffee coffeemaker.  The coffeemaker was a necessity...the teal was the gift to myself.

I cannot believe that I went x-number of years without buying myself a lovely VD gift.  

I'd like to think that pre-teal coffeemaker, I did treat myself to fru-fru coffee on VD so perhaps that can count for something...lest you think I'm completely ridiculous and have fallen off the deep end.

Today I'm thankful that I don't have to hint around to get someone else to buy me a VD gift.  I know what I want.  I have a Post-it note in my hacienda (and yeah - you know what I mean when I say "Hacienda"!!!) that has a list of 2 things that I would love for VD.  They are both gifts that keep on giving the whole year through.  


I kinda want to order both of these items online and select the GIFT WRAP option...and I was thinking about having the card read,

 "TO ME - FROM ME!  XOXOXO Beautiful!"  

My February Blog Project ~ February 9th ~ Remote Control

I, Angie Good, have sole possession of my remote control.  

My February Blog Project ~ February 8th ~ Super Bowl

Today I'm thankful I am single because I did not have to sit through the Super Bowl.  Instead of being forced to watch men wearing cropped leggings and ludicrous shoulder pads, I went to the gym, came home & enjoyed a leisure supper while watching a sappy chick flick.

My February Blog Project ~ February 7th ~ 7 Steps

Today I was blessed with the opportunity to hear my college pastor, Pastor Schettler, preach.  

The Lord gave him a message about handling disappointments.  I love that Pastor Schettler can deliver the reality of "You are going to be disappointed in 2016" and then take us to a fork-in-the-road where Path #1 is what will happen if you do NOT handle the disappointment according to God's Word...and the other fork in the road - Path #2 - is handling the disappointment Biblically.  

Before I even had learned that Pastor Schettler was going to be in town, I had been contemplating two of his college chapel messages.  One was about Isaac and his men digging wells and how the enemy would come and takeover the wells and Isaac told his men, "Dig another well."  {This whole dig-the-well and then moving on to dig another well went on time-and-time again.}  I've been doing some well-digging since the first of the year. 

The second message I've been thinking about was Pastor Schettler's "Seven Steps to Perfect Dating."  And actually I've only been thinking about 1 of the 7 steps...."How you get them is how you keep them."  How you act to catch his / her attention is what you will have to do to keep them.  It's so true.  I could list example after example.  I won't.  

Today's the 6th day of February and my thankful for being single "thing" for today is...I'm thankful the Lord lead me to Pensacola Christian College at the exact point in time when I would be under the preaching for Pastor Jim Schettler.  I'm thankful for the time and energy and diligence he put in to studying God's Word and preaching truth to me and the entire student body.  

I'm thankful the Lord brings these truths to my mind from time to time.  It's up to me to listen to His still, small voice and act accordingly.

My February Blog Project ~ February 6th ~ The Tundra

Even as I sit here contemplating the 6th thing I am thankful about - The Tundra - I am laughing because I don't really mean THE Tundra.

Being single means I can adjust the thermostat to whatever ridiculous setting I want.

Celia has a fur coat and does not care one bit if the heat is off or on...which is a good thing because I love having my bedroom thermostat locked on the OFF setting.

I love crisp cotton sheets, a down comforter, and a wool blanket. 

My February Blog Project ~ February 5th ~ Reading

After a week of people-ing and adulting, I can come home on a Friday night and silence my cellphone, grab a snack, and binge-read. 

I can also stay up until the wee hours of the morning to finish a book.  I must say that I have done this.  I have disrespected the following day by finishing up a wonderful book.  I confess I did it and I will probably do it again.

I am currently completely wrapped up in Lynn Austin's The Restoration Chronicles.   

My February Blog Project ~ February 4th ~ My Hacienda

Several years ago, I was a 2nd grade teacher.  During this time in my life, my friend Sara and I worked part-time for Rockford Public Library.  It was during this part-time gig that we became friends with Nancy.  Nancy was friends with Joyce.  {Even now, Sara, when I say Joyce's name, I say it quite bass-like.  Joyce.}

Joyce had a special vocabulary...all her own.  Joyce like mauve-red roses.  Never seen any...but the color combo sounds trendy.  She also loved the actress Katharine Headburn.  Interesting.  I like Kathrine Hepburn.   Joyce believed if bald eagles landed, they would die.  She seriously believed this!  She also had some other notion about hummingbirds but I cannot recall precisely what it is and if I call Nancy right now, we will gab for an hour and I just can't do that at this moment. 

My favorite all-time Joyce-ism is hacienda.  Hacienda is house (much like an estate).  For Joyce, hacienda is calendar and/or schedule.  

When making plans, she would always check her hacienda.

Sara and I always check our haciendas before making plans.

Infact, during the time when I was teaching and subbing at the library, I bought a really nice red hacienda.  It's refillable and I still have it...these 12 years later.

It's strange that hacienda has been calendar for the past 12 years.  

Today I've been thinking about my hacienda and how being single gives me the freedom to only have 1 hacienda to coordinate.  

If I want to go see Bryan over any given weekend, I just have to check my hacienda to ensure no other plans are set...such as a crafting roadtrip with Lori or haircut and/or thrift outing.

If I get invited to Montana to visit my friends, I don't have to check in with another hacienda.  I just have to open up my red planner and make sure my hacienda is clear!  {Celia appreciated that Lori checked her hacienda and then graciously volunteered to feed her while her human was out of the state!}

One hacienda to check if I want to go to my friend's house and watch Hallmark Christmas movies...pretty much all December-long. 

If a friend needs me to babysit and my hacienda is clear, I can say, "YES!" and not have to worry one bit.

If a friend needs "emergency" coffee and thrift outing for a big date, I can go just as long as my hacienda is not filled in.

Being single gives me great freedom with my schedule.  It's one of my favorite things and the thing I'm most thankful for today.