Sewing Diaries: Culottes

Every person has a breaking point.  A proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back.  Something that pushes them over the edge.  The thing that when the therapist flashes a 5" x 7" picture of it (what ever "it" may be), your right eyelid twitches uncontrollably while nervous laughter escapes your lips causing your body to release serotonin. 

For the me camel-back-breaker is culottes.  Not so much the actual garment...it's more the sewing the garment.  My brain cannot wrap itself around step #3.  I've read it.  Re-read it.  Prayed over it.  (Not even kidding about the praying part!)  Re-read it.  Read it while drinking coffee.  Read it while trying to sketch what was going to happen. 

It never works.  Period. 

I do not promote this cartoon at all, but do you know who Sponge Bob Square Pants is?  I think the cartoon is terrible.  Squidward is naughty!  Naaaaaauuuuuughty!  The only reason I even mentioned the under-sea sponge is because the culottes-gone-awry could fit Sponge Bob.  Here....here's the proof:

I cannot even believe that I am posting a picture of the disaster.  It's sad, isn't it? 

I had a second crisis involving more brown material.  I can't even begin to put in to words what happened the second time.  Just know that nothing could be salvaged and the deceased culottes are in a "better place."  (Read:  the trash where they can no longer be pushed/pulled through the serger.) 

Am I to be the girl who can sew skirts and dresses and infinity scarves and reversible totes but NOT culottes? 

I'm remembering my co-worker's advice.  Last spring when I was taking the sewing class at Rock Valley Community College, said co-worker suggested that I make a pair of pajama pants.  I believe her exact words were, "Skirts are easy.  Pants are tricky and you will shed tears if you don't learn the proper way."  Tears, schmears!  I've gone straight to MIGRAINE HEADACHE status.  I hate how my body does not deal well with stress.  Sewing and stitch-ripping and BAM - migraine.  No warning.  No nothing. 

(Sigh.) 

Since I need to have 4 pairs of these made by next weekend, I've decided to get some help from Mrs. B.  She sews.  And today, she was a huge blessing when she said, "It's not just you.  I haven't bought a pattern in years but they are making them trickier."  Relief flooded my heavy-I-can't-sew-culottes heart.

I mean, for real...I have a college degree.  I can teach small children how to read and multiply - which let's face it, you can rule the world if you have those two skills.  I can balance my checkbook and put on mascara - not at the same time.  :)  I can walk on the treadmill while conversing with Lauren.  I'm pretty sure I can, not only walk, but maybe skip and chew gum.  I can paint my nails and ponder breakfast options. 

Sometimes you just need to shun the sewing machine & serger and spend a lazy afternoon blogging and remind yourself of your accomplishments.  :)