A teal covered library book.

I love the color teal.
On my computer desk/table at home (yes, I, Angela Good, bought a computer desk/table and have actually got my computer setup and working - minus the speakers because I can't seem to figure out how to make them work.  Bryan, they are plugged in.)...where was I?  Oh yes, on my computer desk/table, I have a teal picture frame with a photo of Bryan and me. 

My double papasan has a teal cushion.

Teal accents are sprinkled around my craftroom. 

My kitchen is pretty much teal and red.

My coffee station is a chalk painted teal dresser.

I love teal.

A couple weeks ago while perusing the nonfiction section at the library, I stumbled upon a teal book with an intriguing title, "Party of One."  The "a" in party is a cute little, black dress.  The cover charmed me so much that I read the back and decided to give Joy Beth Smith my undivided attention when I checked out her book.

Can I just WOW!  I mean W-O-O-O-O-W!  She addresses so many intricate details about being a single Christian adult.  She debunks lame and well-intended dating advice.  She addresses so many facets of single life.  Facets that the church is neglecting. 

When I got to page 184, I said to myself, "Angie Good, you need to put this on your blog" soooo here goes....

Joy Beth writes:
"My life, my significance, doesn't begin at the altar, and I wish I felt like the church acknowledged this truth.  Instead the church feels centered around marriage.  The Christian market is saturated with marriage books, marriage workbooks, marriage workshops, marriage conferences, marriage articles, marriage sermon series, marriage seminars, and marriage devotionals.

Some may respond by saying this market is comparable to the number of married people who regularly attend church.  But it might be a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If your ministry is only ministering to married people because the majority of those who attend are married, you will never grow in the number of singles you attract (nor will you grow in empathy toward the singles in your church).  A church that waits to ministers to singles until there's a large percentage will never have to adjust their heavy emphasis on marriage; singles will leave long before then. 

But still churches and conferences and books insist that marriage is the norm, that it is the desired, inevitable end, so it only makes sense to utilize your singleness as a road to make you better in marriage.  Instead of helping all people, much less singles, grow into Christlikeness and learn to love and know Christ more, we teach how to become better wives and mothers and husbands and fathers.

For a long time, I took this advice.  I started trying to cook more, ordering those fancy boxes of food that have step-by-step directions and ingredients included.  On my first go, I burned butter so badly I had to throw away the pan.  By the end of the third box, I was microwaving most of the ingredients in a single bowl and eating while standing of the sink.  Wife fail...

You see, I tried to be a better wife for years, and when that comes I'm going to be awesome.  But I've kind of sucked at a lot of other stuff because I put so much effort into the hope of something that may never come to fruition. 

" ' That's such a small view of what the Christian life is,' Jenny says, referencing this idea that singleness is meant to prepare you for marriage.  'It's telling you that your ultimate goal is to be a good wife and mother one day, but there's so much more to being a Christian woman and advancing the kingdom of God and being a part of the church.  You shouldn't be growing in those skills to be a wife; you should be growing in them so you can serve the Lord.  This lie is telling you that your strengths and skills are limited to your family, and they're not.' "

I could type the remainder of this chapter. 

I love Joy Beth's insight and fabulous wit.  I would love nothing more to meet up with her in the Windy City for a cup of coffee. 

Church leadership (from Pastor to Deacons/Elders to Sunday school teachers to youth ministry workers) should read this book.  I, also, think this book would be good for married people to read in order to get solid insight to their single friend's minds/hearts. 

I hope Joy Beth writes another book!!!